I've been going back and forth with this topic all day, and up until this point I wasn't sure I was going to blog about it. But after thinking and praying, I decided to do this post because you never know who your story might encourage and who may be able to relate to your struggle.
Anyone who knows me personally, knows that I LOVE my family with every ounce of my being. But what do you do when that love is tested? Wait...pause, lets go back. Is it even possible to love someone that you feel as though you know nothing about? The relationship between a daughter and father should be special, or so I've heard. Although I have acquired minimal experience, I have been blessed to be able to visualize this relationship up close and personal through the intimate interactions among father and daughter through close friends of mine. Isn't there a certain feeling a father is supposed to have for his daughter and vice versa? Shouldn't a daughter feel comforted and secure under her father's provision? Shouldn't a father feel a certain warm that could only come from his daughter's love and affection?
I have struggled with this relationship (or lack of) for my entire life. Feeling of anger, resentment, doubt, hurt, all rolled into one. It's easy to be upset and go through life ignoring someone who, in your eyes, refuses to change, but it's hard when I have to look in the mirror everyday at the resemblance of the man who played a quite large role in bringing me into this world. So easy to rememeber yet so hard to forget.
After countless attempts of trying to repair a broken relationship of YEARS AND YEARS, I find that we are back where we started, once again. The cycle must be broken, and I do have faith that one day it will be. But the journey is proving to be a difficult one indeed.