Harmless Vent

Do you believe in signs? Well I do. Always have. But lately, things have been intricately placed in my path which leaves me to believe that SOMEONE is really answering the questions that I've been asking for all this time. When you pray and ask for the answer to something to be revealed to you, do you really pay attention to your surroundings? Do you think that the answer will be obvious or sibliminal? Is the answer revealed to you through a person or an event or happening?

For the past year or so, my main question has been...WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO BE DOING WITH MY LIFE? Verbatim. This is what my prayer consist of, this one question. After spending 4 years of my life getting an education, one would think that I already knew what I was supposed to be doing. But I don't. However, I do know that the constant unease and dissatifsaction of where I am currently is not a happenstance. Not everyone hates their jobs (believe it or not) and not everyone spends hours upon hours sitting at their computer daydreaming about what they wanna be doing or could be doing. This isn't how I want to live my life. In fact, I don't think God would want any of us to live our lives this way. Wouldn't He want the best for us? Wouldn't He want US to want what's best for us? To succeed and enjoy some of life's gifts while remaining true to ourselves? That's what I believe. And with these constant reminders of my state of unhappiness being placed in front of me ON THE REGULAR, I think my question has been answered. But believe it or not, that's the easy part.

The hard part is and will probably always be making a decision, because, in doing so, there will be consequences, both good and/or bad that will have to be faced. Questions of doubt like "did I make the right decision? Is this really for me?"

But as many of my other counterparts, who once struggled with this question themselves, have assured me, there will always be a confirmation. A feeling that will allow you to breathe easy. A feeling of excitement or happiness or exhileration when wake up everyday to do the things you love to do. The day when you can say "I love what I do!"

So as I take this journey into myself and and explore what this world has to offer a young person such as myself, I seek the day when I will receive my confirmation. Not necessarily that I am where I need to be, but moreso that I am

g o i n g where I need to g o.

1 comment:

  1. Most of this post is exactly how I feel right about now. I can relate.